Imposter Syndrome Sucks
Achieving all you've wanted and feeling it's not enough ain't it.
Think of the first time you ever heard your own voice or watched yourself in a video. The embarrassment. That’s how I really sound and look like?
Cringe.
It’s amazing, really. The automatic self-deprecation that follows when you truly become aware of who you are. How you see yourself also only tells part of the story.
We can’t forget the perception people around us have and how it collides with our self-awareness.
Did you know that imposter phenomenon was first coined in 1978 by two female psychologists to describe “intellectual phoniness” in women? To keep things short, through further research it was found that men are also affected. Imposter syndrome does not spare anyone!
I like to think that I’m good at my job. I walk in, get my stuff done, work on being the best team player I can be, and get out. All in a day’s work.
I show up and do what I’m supposed to.
Back to that first time you hear your own voice. That’s exactly how I feel when I’m praised at work. My boss walked into my office a few weeks back and complimented my organization skills. Excuse me, sir. I’m sure you’ve mistaken me with someone else.
There’s nothing like that sheepish feeling of being complimented for what you feel is the most basic of tasks.
Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do and I pour everything into it. That still doesn’t stop me from feeling like what I do is not enough, doubting my own competence.
These feelings don’t end at work.
Many who share similar experiences take it home with them. Am I worthy of what I have? What else do I need to do to become worthy and obtain approval of others?
Shit’s hard.
Well, if you’ve made it this far into the reading and feel similarly (or even if you don’t)…
YOU ARE WORTHY.
The compliments you receive in and out of work are deserved. Everything you love coming home to is deserved. Everything small and large that makes life worth it is deserved.
Okay. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, it’s still extremely difficult to get past the hurdle of instant awkward turtling in the middle of someone giving you your flowers.
I’m not an expert.
So, nothing here is guaranteed to help anyone except myself. First and foremost, accepting and being gracious of praise goes a long way. One of the largest hurdles was simply accepting the compliments. Just saying “thank you” is a step towards accepting the idea that you may be good at what you’re doing, whether it be a good employee or partner.
Stop comparing yourself to others.
Your successes should not be compared to that of others. At an early age we are tasked with the idea that we must go to college. Then that’s followed up by getting into a more prestigious institution. You don’t get into the “better schools.”
Guess what? You’re getting the same degree. Guess what? You’re getting the same job, the same pay, etc. It’s the fact that you applied yourself and succeeded under your own circumstances. You did what had to be done.
The next is, in my opinion, the most important.
Be nice to yourself.
You’re human! You make mistakes. Imposter syndrome is much more common than you know and we should normalize talking about the ways it affects us. One of those ways, very much in the realm of self-deprecation, is talking down on ourselves.
I think we’ve all been there. We make a minuscule mistake and it’s th
e end of the world. We call ourselves an idiot and wallow. We’re our own worst enemy and we can be belligerent to ourselves.
There’s no reason for us to rely solely on praise from others. Praise yourself.
You are where you belong.
Having worked in radio I had to listen to my voice ALL THE TIME. It was weird at first but you get used to it after a while. Then it goes from getting used to it to wanting to get better.
How can I come across better? What should I do to get better at enunciation?
You’re not an imposter.
You’re good at what you do, you deserve to know it, and, most importantly, you deserve to believe it.